How do you make plans with friends when everyone is busy?
When everyone is busy, you don't always need to find a time that works for everyone. Sometimes it's easier to make the plan first and see who can make it.
If it's important that the whole group is there, comparing calendars or using a scheduling poll makes sense. But plenty of everyday plans don't need everyone.
You're going for a drink after work anyway. You and a friend are getting lunch on Saturday. You're going for a walk on Sunday morning.
Put the plan out there and let the people you'd like to see decide if they're free.
It turns making plans from a scheduling exercise into something much more casual:
this is what I'm doing, come if you can.
Decide whether you actually need everyone there
Some plans only work if particular people can make them.
If you're organising a birthday dinner for six close friends, finding a date that works for everyone might be worth the effort.
But if the aim is simply to spend more time with your friends, requiring everyone to be free at once can make things unnecessarily difficult.
The bigger and busier the group gets, the less likely everyone's calendars are to line up.
So ask yourself: does everyone need to be there, or would you still have a good time with whoever can make it?
If it's the latter, you can stop solving everyone's calendars before making the plan.
Make the plan first
Say you and one friend are going to the pub on Thursday.
Instead of asking eight people when they're next free, make Thursday's plan and add the people you'd be happy to see there.
Some might come. Some won't.
Next time, it might be a different combination of people.
This works particularly well for casual things you're happy to do anyway: drinks, walks, coffee, watching a game, going to a market, dinner or anything else that doesn't depend on a particular group being there.
You're not trying to find the perfect date. You're giving people more opportunities to see each other.
Loopt is designed for this kind of low-pressure plan
On Loopt, you can put up what you're doing and add the people you'd like to include.
They can come if they're free or leave the plan if they can't make it. There are no read receipts, so adding someone doesn't create the same pressure to immediately respond to a message.
That means you can share a plan without needing it to become a whole conversation about everyone's availability first.
And the plan doesn't need to start with a big group. Maybe you already have dinner planned with one friend and think a few other people would get on. You can add them too.
It can be as simple as:
we're doing this, come if you fancy it.
You can still plan ahead when you need to
Making the plan first doesn't mean never coordinating schedules.
Sometimes finding a shared date really is the problem. If you're trying to get five old friends who live in different places together for the first time in six months, comparing calendars is probably worth doing.
You can also use a mix of both approaches.
Plan the things where everyone really matters further ahead. For smaller everyday plans, be more spontaneous and let whoever's free come along.
That can create more chances to see each other without every catch-up requiring weeks of organising.
Don't let a full calendar stop you seeing your friends
When everyone is busy, it can feel like seeing each other requires finding a rare gap when every calendar magically lines up.
It doesn't always have to.
Sometimes you can start with what one or two of you are already doing, open it up to other people you'd like to see, and let everyone decide whether this one works for them.
Not everyone will make every plan. They don't need to.
The point is to make it easier for the times that do work to actually happen.